


I Can Stage A Situation, But I Just Can't Eat.

by AdrianMatthew



Category: The 1975 (Band)
Genre: Anorexia, Bulimia, Character Death, Crying, Death, Eating Disorders, Fainting, Hospitalization, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Love, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, One Shot, Sad, Sad Ending, Short One Shot, Sobbing, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 09:32:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19104406
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AdrianMatthew/pseuds/AdrianMatthew
Summary: Massive trigger warning for this whole fic right off the bat.Please read all tags if you are triggered by certain things.This is in no way affiliated with The 1975 or any of it's members, nor is this anything but fiction. I just like to write stories and it's hard for me to use characters that I don't know / create original characters due to my ADHD.





	I Can Stage A Situation, But I Just Can't Eat.

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warning for this whole fic !!!  
> I hope y'all like this, kudos and (especially) comments are greatly appreciated.

“Just the apple.” George said, his eyes pleading, but to Matty they just seemed like they were burning holes into him. “Stop looking at me.” Matty replied, propping his legs up on the chair next to George. He pushed the pasta to the corner of his plate with his fork, then flicked his eyes back up to George.

George sighed, turning his gaze to his own empty plate. “How about half of the apple?” he asked, not daring to look back up at his boyfriend. Mattys reply was immediate and short, “No.” Causing George to sigh again.

“You can't keep doing this Angel, it's killing you.” George's eyes began to fill with tears, and he bit his tongue to stop them from pouring over. He didn't want Matty to know how much this was killing him too, he didn't want him to feel guilty for this illness he couldn't help.

“It's not my fucking fault,” Matty snapped, planting his feet back on the floor and pushing his chair back from the table. “You act like this is just a switch I can turn on and off, like I can stop this whenever I want.”

“Matty you know that's not true. I know you're struggling, but please try.” George was practically begging now, but Matty was no longer listening, he stood and quickly left the room, choking out a sob he was trying his hardest to hold back. George's own tears were flowing down his face now, but he blinked them away and looked up to Matty's plate again. With all the food he had given him still on the plate, uneaten, just pushed around a bit.

“I can't believe I didn't see how bad it was until now.” He muttered aloud to no one. He never noticed Matty's eating habits, he never noticed how thin he had gotten until he had gone to A&E with him after Matty sprained his ankle falling on stage, and he saw the shockingly low numbers on the scale during Matty's intake. Just a couple pounds over 6 and a half stone, his heart had dropped. _**(For anyone wondering, 6½ stone is 91lbs, Matty is 93lbs.)**_

Of course when he brought it up at home Matty completely denied anything being wrong, blaming his low weight as being busy and active with the band everyday. Because “No, of course I don't have anorexia. That's _ridiculous_ George!” his excuse being not having time to eat and constantly moving about. But over the past three months George has been trying to make him eat more. Matty had been doing so well until now, even got up to 100lbs at one point which made them both cry for different reasons, George picking him up in a hug as Matty cried into his chest. “You're doing so well Angel.” He told Matty, and George's praise was enough to think _maybe_ this was worth it.

But relapses came back hard, they came back with Matty sobbing on the bathroom floor, dizzy and reeking of vomit. They came with George holding him and rocking him back and forth as Matty apologized over and over again, in between hiccuping sobs, “I'm so sorry George, I'm so sorry for purging again.” They came with Matty's never ending agitation and refusal to eat for days on end until he blacked out in the middle of Tesco. They came with George, an atheist, quite literally praying for Matty to be okay as he sat next to his bedside in the hospital after the incident.

Matty ended up hooked up to a feeding tube after the Tesco incident, and was admitted into the behavioural health unit of the hospital for 8 days. 8 horrific days of wishing for George to be holding him while he lay in his bed, 8 days of crying over the phone, trying to tell George how much he missed and loved him in the short 15 minute call he got per day. 8 days of laying awake until the sun came up wondering if it was worth it to just kill himself, to just stop the pain for both of them.

That was 2 weeks ago, and he was home now. Body dysmorphia stronger than ever as he stared in the mirror at the weight he had been forced to gain. George as adamant as ever to get him to start eating, George crying in bed when he thought Matty was sleeping. Matty whispering sorry over and over once George had fallen asleep, tears staining both the men's faces.

And as Matty had left the room, and George sat at the table thinking over the past few months. He hoped and prayed Matty would give in to his efforts soon, that he would try to get better. He was snapped out of his thoughts with a thud from across the house, and _fuck_ Matty had fainted again. George grabbed his phone, ready to call Matty's doctor in case he needed to be hospitalized again, jumping out of his chair and practically sprinted across the house. Looking for where Matty had fainted.

He eventually found much more than he had expected though, something much worse. Matty sprawled out on the cold tile in the bathroom, eyes wide, unfocused, and glassy, body slumped against the side of the bathtub. And _no no no please no_. There was blood pooling from where Matty's head had struck the side of the tub, and the older man's hand twitched slightly when George let out a gasp of fear.

“Oh my god no,” he exclaimed, dropping to his knees next to Matty, scooping his fragile body up in one arm, holding his boyfriend against his chest, his other hand desperately fumbling to dial 999. Matty's eyes slipped closed and he weakly tucked his skeleton thin arm between himself and George. Almost like he was trying to get as close to George as possible. “Fuck Matty, c’mon. Don't do this to me. _Please Angel_.” but Matty barely managed a whimper in response as the 999 operater came on the line and his breathing stopped. A sob tearing it's way from George's chest as the feeling of Matty's heart faintly beating against his chest stopped.


End file.
